How throwing a wedding is like throwing a party

I started this blog explicitly about parties that weren't weddings or showers. I felt, as someone who loves elaborate (and very simple) parties that there were blogs about weddings, and lots on the Internet about showers for weddings (and babies) but not a huge amount about parties for adults that weren't either weddings or showers. I've added a list of great blogs on the side that cover these parties really well. I also want to break my mission for a minute to talk about weddings because, well, I had one.

The expert Ali of Tag Sale Style does my hair and makeup. Veil by Phil. Photo by Lisa. I had AMAZING help.

But in keeping with my mission, I don't want to talk (here at least) about the wedding-y parts of the wedding. All I will say is the ceremony and my officiant were amazing and the best and most important part if the while thing was the part where I got married to my husband. The party part was just a happy topping, like guacamole.

But again, this is a party blog. So the party part. Because of a mix of how fancy my parties are and how small our wedding was, in many ways it felt like a regular party. And the lessons I've learned hosting parties helped me get through it.

1. Don't be so worried about everything and everyone that you don't get to enjoy the party for yourself. If there is tasty food, eat. If there is good music, dance. Talk to your friends and family.

Tasty food. Mac and Cheese is my favorite. Photo by Lisa.

2. Conversely, accept that you will probably not get to talk to the people you like enough. Even with a fairly small wedding (like mine) there are too many people. This is a room filled with people you like who like you. You want to say hi to all of them, which probably means you are not going to have a long meaningful conversation with any of them. It's okay. If they are local, make a dinner, brunch, or tea date soon to catch up better. If they traveled, return the favor and go visit. For now, just enjoy that they are there.

3. As my awesome friend Emily (of Listing to the Side) points out, delegate. I put a wonderful, amazing, and generous friend in charge of coordinating and trouble shooting. Saturday afternoon before the Sunday wedding I left to get my nails done and basically said "everything else is you." while normally I don't delegate to that extent, I do some. The methods Emily points out work excellently. Also, just knowing in advance what you need help with. Often, with both the wedding and with parties, people will offer me help but I won't know a concrete task they can do. Knowing in advance a list of things you can hand off makes life so much easier! For some of us this may actually be a physical (or digital) list  with things like door answering, mixing dip, replenishing chips from this location, etc. I really can't thank enough the people who helped out. They were all awesome.

4. Know what you can't hand off. Certain things, like cake, or the arrangement of decorative items, I am very particular about. I generally don't hand these off. In other cases, it takes longer to explain what I want than to hand it off. For the wedding, one of these things was decisions. Making things I could hand off, but deciding what should be where, that had to be up to me (or the husband).

Wedding crafts--in the background, place cards (using hole punches!), in the foreground, basket lined with fabric by Ali. Guest starring Shea.

I also learned a few useful tips for future parties, both in crafting skills (hole punches! They are the best!) and planning skills (if it is outdoors, and there are chairs, bring a towel, or several.)



What do you delegate? And, for those of you who have gotten married, what did you learn from wedding planning?